Okay, so I was surfing through the Important News Of The Day back on whatever day it was that the Oscar nominations were announced, and since that was, of course, like, su-pah important (it was like third on the Yahoo! newsfeed. That’s Important, baby), I devoted my full attention to the article. I even turned down Pandora and closed my book. I was not surprised at the Best Picture choices; I didn’t think The Hobbit would make the cut. Really, it was a good year for movie-goers.
So, anyway, I’m reading the noms and I get to the Best Actor choices where I see the following:
Daniel Day Lewis (Duh. Had he not been nominated, they should just shut down the dang Academy and forget the whole thing.)
Joaquin Phoenix (Awesome. This guy plays “intense” better than anyone I’ve ever seen. Except for maybe Daniel Day Lewis, who plays everything better than anyone I’ve ever seen.)
Denzel Washington (I haven’t seen “Flight”, but Denzel’s work is usually authentic and well-thought out.)
Hugh Jackman (Wolverine’s protrayal of Valjean in Les Misérables is incredible. In. Cred. Ible.)
And then, I read this name:
“Shut up! Syd! I got an Oscar Nomination!?!”
Bradley Cooper
Wha…?? Will Tippin is up for an Oscar? Sweet Lord! I’m so excited for him I could sing!
I’ve been a Bradley Cooper fan since his “Alias” days. Although, now that I think about it, maybe I was just a Will Tippin fan. (I never saw those “Hangover” movies.) I just loved that character and the friendship Will and Sydney shared. I mean, how many people can you send into the Witness Protection Program, drag into a dangerous spy mission or two, force to speak in a French accent, pull a gun on, and then still believably exchange “I love you”s? I mean, just see for yourself:
Not bad, huh?
But wait. This is a cruel pipe dream. There’s no possible way my little Will Tippin can win a Best Actor Oscar against all of these Massive Heavyweights. Poor thing…I was so worried. I mean, he’s nominated for a role opposite Jennifer Lawrence (?? Seriously?) in some rom-com that escaped me completely. I hadn’t even heard of “Silver Linings Playbook” until I read the nominations. That movie has DeNiro in it, and there’s football! (Albeit the Eagles, but still: football!) How’d I miss that? I guess I am still tiptoeing my way back into the world of Pop Culture Everyone Else Takes For Granted. Ask my bff: I just discovered P!nk last week. And yes, I did play the “Try” video about 47 times. In a row. (Did you Will Tippin fans note the use of the number “47″? Slick, huh?) And, besides that huge strike against him, there’s The Competition. Could he be any more of a long shot? I mean Daniel Day Lewis could win the Oscar on the strength of that dang Lincoln poster alone, and Wolverine was *singing* with poop on his teeth! Can Will pull this off? I don’t know!
Concerned, I consulted YouTube:
I’m no longer worried.
(P.S. If that sweet child from “Beasts of the Southern Wild” doesn’t win, something is irreparably wrong with the world.)